Refining this habit is the most effective way of working with other people. It’s focussed on results not methods.
There are 6 basic paradigms of human interactions:
1. win/win: this is a mindset which constantly seeks mutual benefit with all parties feeling good about decisions and committed.
2. win/lose: authoritarian approach which uses a personal power base
3. lose/win: one party rolls over and allows the other to do whatever it likes.
4. lose/lose: bitter and so centred on the “enemy” you are willing to hurt your own interests if it also means they lose too.
5. win: self interested, leaving other party to look out for themselves.
6. win/win or no deal: general agreement to disagree if mutually agreeable deal cannot be reached.
In developing (1) or (6), you will need to harmonise 5 dimensions, being:
a. Character: this requires integrity, maturity and mentality (on both parts). Both need to realise the plethora of opportunities available.
b. Relationships: This is your Emotional Bank Account. Make deposits often, build up credit with those you need to negotiate with over a period of time. It brings credibility and trust. this sort of relationship is absolutely key to any successful negotiation.
c. Agreements: Give definition and direction. Effective negotiations focus on desired results rather than methods to be followed.
d. Systems: The organisations both parties operate within need to support a win/win mindset. This includes all things like: training/planning/budgeting/communication/information and compensation, all having to support a win/win mindset.
e. Processes: Ability to separate the person from the problem. Focus on interests and outcomes rather than on positions. All options should result in positive mutual gain. These processes are more fully discussed in Parts 5 and 6 of this series, so keep coming back!